Book Review- First, We Make the Beast Beautiful

TW: Anxiety, discussion of mental illness, discussion of medication

Have you ever read a book that so closely resembled your life and feelings that you found yourself nodding along in every section?

That was this book for me.

Now, with every self-help style of book, there are going to be times where the author thinks that they are the expert on a situation, even when they aren’t (this author doesn’t have any scientific education or training).

I’m going to get the bad stuff out of the way for this review because I do believe that this book is a great read for people with anxiety or for family members of anxious people. However, we have to remember that our experiences are not universal. Anecdotal evidence is NOT FACT.

Much of the problem with the mental health sciences, in general, is that even many scientists still don’t know the specifics of anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder etc and exactly why they occur. This means that a lot of anxiety experience is anecdotal including mine!

The difference between the way that I try to talk about my anxiety and the way that Sarah Wilson does in this book is that I’m not here to tell you that you aren’t doing enough.

There are a few sections in this book that are very anti-medication and anti-coping methods. I don’t think it’s anyone’s place (except for maybe your doctor or psychiatrist) to tell you what you should and shouldn’t be doing to manage your anxiety. The author often discusses that if you are taking medication, you aren’t working on dealing with your anxiety and that is dangerous. Whatever it is that keeps you going, you do you boo! Medication or no medication!

Personally, taking medication is the way that I am managing my anxiety and learning how to live with it. Before I was on anxiety medication, I couldn’t even participate in a therapy session. Now I’ve been taking medication for 3 years and I have made so much progress with my anxiety.

It’s no one’s place to tell you what you aren’t doing to help your anxiety.

That being said, I took a lot of good things from this book too. Sarah Wilson gives great tips for how she worked on her mental health and I think that these are great tips (when they are suggested as one option, not as the only option).

I suppose I should give some context on the book lol. Here is the summary from Google Books:

I Quit Sugar founder and New York Times bestselling author Sarah Wilson has lived through high anxiety – including bipolar, OCD and several suicide attempts – her whole life. Perhaps like you, she grew tired of seeing anxiety as a disease that must be medicated into submission. Could anxiety be re-sewn, she asked, into a thing of beauty? So began a seven-year journey to find a more meaningful and helpful take on anxiety. Living out of two suitcases, Sarah travelled the world, meeting with His Holiness The Dalai Lama, with Oprah’s life coach, with major mental health organizations and hundreds of others in a quest to unravel the knotted ball of wool that is the anxious condition. She emerged with the very best philosophy, science and hacks for thriving with the beast. First, We Make the Beast Beautiful is a book with a big heart, paving the way for richer, kinder and wiser conversations about anxiety.

I think that the last sentence really sums up this book for me. It is a book that helps to make way for kinder conversations about anxiety. I felt so much comfort in this book because it was the first time that I had heard someone write down on the page exactly what I’ve felt throughout my life. I don’t want to pass on all of Sarah Wilson’s hard-won wisdom here in this post, because I do think that this book deserves a spot on your shelf. I will, however, give some examples of things that I learned while reading this or that I’ve come to understand since reading it. There is a lot of really good information in this book.. seriously I used a whole pack of blue sticky notes while reading this book.

In case you thought I was joking…

First off, a couple of things that really comforted me:

You are okay as you are

If there really is no “right” way to do life, then we can choose our own way

Another thing she discussed that really resonated with me was that anxiety is the absence of the Something Else. She takes the whole book to explain this concept so it’s worth reading to find out more about it. But essentially, we feel like we are promised that we are going to find that thing that gives us what we want ( ie: the dream job, happiness, the perfect partner). Anxiety is the feeling that that thing is missing (when in reality, it’s not just something that is going to be given to us or something that can even be given). Anxiety is routed in worrying about the future and never finding that “Something Else”. I think it’ll take a few more times of someone telling me that the PERFECT thing isn’t out there before I actually learn this, but it definitely felt real to me.

If you’re reading this post because you know someone with anxiety and want to help them, read this:

“We look strong and controlling. But we actually need other’s help more than most.”

People with anxiety, especially high-functioning anxiety, probably seem like they’ve got everything under control. We often plan the hangout, make the travel itinerary, run the party, but in reality, that is just because we want to be able to control the outcome of the situation in order to lessen our anxiety. This doesn’t mean that the people in your life with anxiety don’t want your help or that they won’t listen to you. Sometimes you just have to offer!

Lastly, I want to talk about decision-making. One of the hardest things to do when you have anxiety is to make decisions (although I think all humans have this problem to some extent). Here is what stood out to me:

If you’re spending time choosing between two things, it probably means that they are BOTH GOOD OPTIONS. Whichever one you choose will be a good choice. Pick one and make it the right choice.

Sarah’s example is about a magazine cover, but it pertains to life. Can’t decide whether you want to order 5 Guys or A&W for dinner? Those are both good decisions, that’s why you are struggling so much. Pick one and make it the best choice! Get that 5 guys milkshake or that A&W rootbeer. You can make your choice the best choice.

This is one of the first times that I’ve ever been able to finish a self-help book and that alone makes this book worth reading haha. In my opinion (and I’m pretty sure that’s what you came here for), it’s worth a read. I think it’s important that no one takes the information as law because it’s not. It’s just Sarah’s experience, just like this blog post is my opinion. I think that it is an eye-opening read about the experience of mental illness and a comforting read for people who struggle with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or autoimmune diseases.

Have you read this book?

For more information on what I’ve been reading, check out my Goodreads and subscribe to my Youtube Channel. You can purchase this book on Amazon or at Chapters, and you can find more about Sarah Wilson here.

Much love,