Dealing with Overwhelm in a Digital World
-Originally published on November 28, 2019-
The idea for this blog post came from a conversation that I had with my therapist but was re-kindled for me today because of my overall feeling of dread and existential crisis. In the car on my way home, I had to listen to my Fly AF playlist filled with Lizzo, Mahogany Lox, SIA, and more to remind myself that there were some things right with the world.
I was recently at an event where one of the women ( @shelbybreanne_ on Instagram) said, “I sometimes say that I came out of the womb an activist”. These words really resonated with me because I’ve always felt that there was something that I needed to speak out against or stand up for, but I never knew what or how to narrow that down.
And when social media is concerned, it’s even harder to narrow that down. How do you choose what to put your support behind when all of life’s problems are right there and all of life’s opinions are there too? How do you support body positivity, LGBTQ+ rights, Immigration, politics, injustice, indigenous rights, stop violence against women, stop racism, create prison reform, and fight climate change all at the same time? How do you choose who to ‘cancel’ and how do you know who’s music to listen to, movies to watch, comedy to hear, etc when there’s a negative story about everyone lurking behind the next tweet (this is not to say that I don’t think people should be held accountable for their actions because they should and they deserve to be punished (I’m looking at you, Chris Brown)). How do I tell all of my Facebook friends that I really do think that Don Cherry deserved to be fired and educate them on how it dealt with immigration issues at the same time as telling them that the budget cuts are wrong and that teachers deserve jobs and that we somehow have to save this planet in only a few years yet no one will pull together to do it?
This was something that I posed to my therapist the other day because, while I was feeling burnt out about school, work, this blog, my future and everything else, I was feeling like the whole world was on my shoulders. I was feeling like I needed to solve every problem that the world had and that I needed people to know that I was doing that. What I realized was that I had built my identity around standing up for things that I don’t believe in. I had built my identity around speaking against racism and hate crimes and the UCP party. I had built my identity around talking about what was going on in hockey and calling out injustice in it (this was the week post-Don Cherry).
What she told me was that in this world of social media, we see every single problem and we see very few solutions. We both agree generally, that social media isn’t a bad thing. I think it is a very good thing. But what WE as the younger generation have to realize is that we don’t have to deal with everything that we read on social media and we don’t have to solve every problem that is brought up. We don’t have to save each and every issue that the world is struggling with, despite the influx of news coverage that we get in this digital world.
So, now that I’ve rambled about that, I’m going to give you a few tangible steps that you can take to allow yourself to let the world figure itself out and really just worry about what YOU can control, because there are only 24 hours in a day, and we all really need to sleep.
TIGHTEN YOUR INNER CIRCLE (BOTH IN REALITY & SOCIALLY)
This step is super easy but for some reason, I feel like it really goes against the grain of political correctness and social media customs. In the same way that we feel better when we surround ourselves with friends and family that have similar interests to us, similar careers, similar personalities, etc. we can do this with social media. It is okay to unfollow that person that you met one time at a party and have never talked to again. It’s okay to unfollow that person that you went to high school with who posts things that you don’t agree with. It’s okay to make your social media news feeds a safe, fun, and happy place for you. You do not need to have multiple opposing viewpoints in your Twitter feed just because people tell you that you will not be as informed. Follow only Bachelor stars for all anyone cares. Just follow people who’s lives, tweets, pictures, and statuses don’t make you feel like the world is ending. We already feel like the world is ending enough every day. We are already worried about how we’re going to get a job in this economy and how we’re going to buy a house. Use Instagram as a place to look at nice photos since that was its original purpose. Cut off toxic real-life friends and toxic internet ‘friends’.
REALIZE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO CARE ABOUT THIS AND ARE MAKING CHANGES
One way to release a lot of overwhelm for me is to let others do the work. This is really hard for me because I always want to be involved. However, in the same way, that you wouldn’t get a job as a rocket scientist with your political science degree, you can’t fight climate change in the UN with your English degree. You can’t expect yourself to fight for environmental policy, run for office, and participate in the federal government if you don’t know HOW to do those things. You can’t solve the entirety of the prison system if you didn’t go to law school. You can’t impeach Donald Trump if you aren’t in the senate etc. etc. You can’t save the world if you don’t know how to. You have to trust that there are people out there with the training, expertise, and position to make these things happen. That doesn’t mean you can’t purchase from consignment stores, recycle, bring a reusable mug, not use racist or sexist hate speech or hope that Donald Trump does get impeached. It just means that you don’t have to put the pressure on yourself to save the world when you really are just a second-year Public Relations student who plays in a community band, works in social media, writes a blog no one reads, and likes coffee.
One way to see this change is to go to events where people who are making the changes are speaking. It will show you that these people are committed to the cause, that they care about the issue and they can explain to you exactly what they are doing to get there. Then you can go to bed and let them do the fighting.
MAKE A LIST OF WHAT IS CAUSING YOUR OVERWHELMING FEELINGS AND HIGHLIGHT WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL
As I was having my freakout today, I started ranting about all of the things that are stressing me out. Here’s a sample list:
-Climate Change
-Bill Peters’ racist comments
-Mike Babcock
-The potential that the Flames could fire Bill Peters and subsequently hire Mike Babcock
-The city spending millions on making bus paths that they don’t plow for the busses to use
-The new Flames arena deal is being held against the Green Line Transit development in the City Council
-City Council meetings are happening and I don’t know what’s going on in them and I should know more about it because I live here
-Jason Kenney
-My History final where I need to use 5 books or 15 articles to back up this paper that is due in person at 10 am on Wednesday in two weeks
-Work
When I look at that list, I see a lot of items that I have no control over. I see two items that I can deal with: my history paper, and work. And really, I can’t do anything about that specific incident right now. So really, just my history paper.
The reality is, I could look into what is going on at City Council, I could write to the city and tell them to plow the roads. I could worry about racist white men that I can’t control. But all I NEED to worry about is that paper. And heck, that isn’t even due for two weeks (due tomorrow, DO tomorrow, am I right?).
Making this list can show you that you are worried about a ton of problems that can’t be solved now, or maybe ever. Sometimes, we just have to put a little faith in humanity and hope that the people who are taking care of these issues are doing them as justly as possible and are going to do what is right. Maybe someday I’ll work in a position with the NHL where we support and help players dealing with emotional and physical abuse from both coaches and family members. Maybe one day you will be an environmental policy lawyer. Maybe you’ll be in the US senate. But for now, you are where YOU are, doing what you can and that’s all you can do.
